rejection

BE AN EXAMPLE – how did one man transform a huge organization into a
more effective instrument of peace? By being an example to others.
When a young admirer asked to follow him … this spiritual giant invited his
new friend to preach with him. The excited young admirer was filled with
joy as they walked toward the town square, beaming at the thought of
preaching the Good News with his new mentor. The joy turned to
puzzlement as they kept walking past the square and out of the other side
of town without saying a word. Francis Bernadrone – St. Francis of Assisi –
asked his confused friend if he noticed the people in town. Then St. Francis
shared the wisdom that has transformed many people of faith – our
example speaks much louder than our preaching … it is our actions that
catch people more than our words. People are always watching what we
do. Children watch parents. Subordinates watch managers. Followers
watch leaders. If we want our ideas to move people … we must put them
into practice with our actions. Hustle, work hard … and your ideas will be
more kindly received. Sit on the couch and watch TV … and the ears of
others will close.

REPETITION – how many great ideas or people were readily accepted right
away by others? Zero! None! (Unofficial poll!) Yet each of us expects to
pronounce our great ideas to others once and great things to happen.
Angels will play their heavenly music to the crowd to celebrate our ideas …
but rarely without practice and repetition. People who expect their ideas
to be readily embraced are unrealistic. Just like a basketball team that
must practice an offense … repetition empowers our ideas. Back when
computers were first being developed, what did the computer giant IBM
say about the development? No big deal! Only a few computers would
be needed! Wow, talk about being wrong! But eventually they did “get
it” … but after many other companies delivered computers to people at
considerable profit. The message of computers had to be repeated over
and over by scholars, magazines, geeks, and more. Its not that people and
organizations are stupid. But they do need to hear things repeatedly … in
different ways. Ideas need to be introduced, re-stated, re-discussed … and
more. Its part of human nature. Accept it. Your actions and ideas likely
require the same respect for the laws of nature … repetition. If you think
your suggestions and ideas will get an immediate, “Sure!”… then you may
be too kind to yourself. Our own enthusiasm for our own ideas is a good
thing … to a point. An immediate, resounding, and enthusiastic thumbs up
is infrequent. But eventually good actions and ideas are recognized.

BE A COACH – just like kids need a coach to teach them and guide them
to learn a sport and succeed … so do ideas and suggestions. Coaches
offer a vision as well as specifics. Coaches understand the overall plan as
well as the immediate ideas that guide organizations and people. In any
organization – whether corporate, civic, or religious – there is a need for a
leader to coach along others in understanding new ideas and how they
make sense and fit into the bigger picture. President Reagan – the Great
Communicator – was effective in selling his ideas about defeating the evil
of communism. During the 40th Anniversary of D-Day, Reagan gave a
great speech where he likened the great landing to defeat Nazism to the
struggle to defeat communism. He “coached us” to understand that the
same bravery and courage required on the beaches of France would be
required in our commitment to free the world of the tyranny of
communism. He connected with people on an emotional and personal
level. Not only did people respond favorably to Reagan’s vision and ideas,
but success came within the coach’s lifetime … to the surprise of his
staunchest critics!

GOOD DISPOSITION – What did President Reagan, Martin Luther King, and
Mahatma Gandhi have in common? Yes, each possessed strong ideas that
shaped the world around them. But each also possessed a good
disposition toward “the other side”. They avoided the “interpersonal
battle” approach that can guide office politics, volunteer animosities, or
family squabbles. For them, it was about a higher ideal. Reagan’s warmth
toward Gorbachev … King’s politeness toward police and authorities …
Gandhi’s civility with the British … each added power and speed to their
great causes. Putting others down … putting up walls … or bringing to light
the faults of others feels good in a meeting or a discussion … but often sets
back the ideas and suggestions we are eager to have accepted.

CLEAR COMMUNICATION – putting suggestions and ideas out to any group
is a daunting task. People have so many different personalities, points of
views, and values. Imagine presenting to a group of various people from
various disciplines in a company … engineers, finance people, quality
engineers … what a variety! How can we possibly navigate their concerns
and gain their support? Hard work! One co-worker showed me her “worn
out shoes”. Worn out from what? Talking to people individually … ahead
of time … to understand their concerns and objections. Because she
talked to as many people as possible, she was able to gain cooperation
where others would fail. This cooperation helped deal with objections and
build consensus and support.

Each and every day, we interact with others … people at work … family
members … friends … or others in a volunteer group. Having fun socially is
often the easier part. But when we try accomplish things as a group … a
mix of ideas is required … and calamities of all proportions can occur. Day
in and day out, potential barriers and set-backs present themselves. But
people who are powered by truth do not get overcome by the calamities
… they rebound. And how do they rebound? They ensure their own
motivations … and approach all people with a good disposition …
knowing that being a good example is a powerful way to effect others …
knowing that clear communication is hard work and always required …
even propitious communication … and they are very willing to patiently
coach others along toward the very truth that already powers them!

Next month’s newsletter offers a few insights about dealing with stress. Our
“to-do list” seems to only get longer … the things that “bother us” seem to
accumulate … there never seems to be enough time to do everything …
for a few suggestions … next month’s newsletter is “A Fun, Decisive Way to
Beat Stress”